14 Things You'll Out Live.

1. Facebook.

First Friendster ruled. Then MySpace. Now Facebook. Tomorrow some other smart upstart will take the lead. Doesn't matter if we're talking about business or your girlfriend's past: Don't be intimidated by a strong predecessor. Nobody's unbeatable.



2. Cellphone contracts.

There's good reason Europeans have abandoned these vestigial entanglements. Electronics evolve faster than a frog at Chernobyl, and committing 2 years to anything with a battery is like marrying a woman who ages twice as fast as you do.

3. Red State/Blue State.

More than a century ago, Americans went bonkers over the government's coining of unlimited amounts of silver. But now it's a settled fight—just like today's most drawn-out battles will be one day. So who cares if the election is over? On issues you care about, raise your voice before it's too late.



4. Bands with guitars.

Just kidding. But Decca Records execs notoriously turned down the Beatles because, they claimed, "guitar groups are on the way out." Music, like fashion and art, is cyclical. Chase trends and you'll always be following someone else.



5. Your dog.

Sure, it's a sad thought. But it's better than the reverse. Besides, there's a pound dog out there that really wants to play tug-of-war with you.



6. Gasoline's dominance. 

Cheap trips to the pump are never coming back, but that's fine: One day everything will run on hydrogen or ethanol or flux capacitors, and moving around will be more environmentally friendly. Never mourn the erosion of the status quo. There's always room for improvement—with everything.



7. Garfield. 

The fat cat earned his last chuckle in, like, 1995. It doesn't matter if you're a cartoonist or a conversational comedian: Leave 'em wanting more instead of wanting you to leave.

8. The Florida Marlins.

It's the team the fans don't like—not the ballpark. Yet the Fish are expected to build a new $515 million stadium anyway, which proves that in any relationship, business or personal, it's always important to recognize the real problem. Force a fix and you've found a costly way to delay the inevitable. 



9. Skinny jeans.

Denim was made to cover your legs, not turn them into shrink-wrapped stilts. Nuff said.



10. Outback's Bloomin' Onion.

Here's hoping common sense (or America's obesity epidemic) erases this 1,580-calorie grease sponge before it inflates everyone who eats it. You've opted for the grilled chicken, right?



11. The Plymouth red-bellied turtle.

It's a cute little thing from Massachusetts—endangered, of course. The world's full of fleeting beauty that you'll never see unless you unchain yourself from that desk. Think of it this way: Your boss can wait; the turtle really can't.



12. Your childhood idol.

He's older, so he'll croak first. Life's harsh, and short. But it doesn't take a superhero to impress a kid. Shouldn't you be trying to earn your own fan club?

13. "Manscaping" and "metrosexual."

Men care about how they look. And once the world gets over that shock—the shock!—these labels will have lost their purpose.

14. Keith Richards.

But just barely. The walking wrinkle is proof that life, not longevity, is what's worth living for.